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Happy (?!?) Suicide Prevention Day... or something

September 10, National Suicide Prevention Day.  So little-miss-truth-and-beauty should probably write something inspiring, eh?

And yet, I feel like a total faker writing on this topic, since I was wrestling with my bullshit brain over this particular issue as recently as last week.  (Now, don't go panicking on me, I wasn't in any imminent danger, I can keep using cutlery.  It's just that there are still some bits that sometimes need some wrangling, or distracting with shiny things occasionally.)  

But... I do know a bit (!) about suicide prevention.

Back when I was a kid, and I didn't really have any understanding of just how fragmented my brain and soul were (a pretty genius survival technique – thank you, neurochemistry – which got me through some desperate times, but wasn't terribly useful in later years), I already understood there was an internal battle.  I knew there was a bit of myself – or perhaps even a few bits of myself – that flirted with the idea of "accidentally falling" off the subway platform just as the train was coming.  Nothing that could be seen as intentional, of course, because that would open up a whole whack of unpalatable scenarios, depending on whether I succeeded or failed in my "accident", but... you know... elbowed off by a distracted commuter, caught by a big whoosh of air... anything that could keep me from being hospitalized and never taken seriously again if I survived, or turned into "the bad guy" if I succeeded.  Fortunately, there were a lot of other bits who thought this wasn't such a good idea, and so I would plaster myself to the back wall until the train had safely passed.  That way, even if one of us got the urge to dash, the rest of us could probably catch her before she reached the edge.  To this day, when I go back to Tronna, I still tend to hold myself at the back of the platform, because the memories of those days are so intense, especially in the stations that haven't been re-tiled since the '80s (which I think are most of them... amIright?)

So... forget being a faker.  I am a MASSIVE SUCCESS STORY when it comes to suicide prevention.  I'm here to tell the tale.

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Squeaking it in: Still June, still Post-Traumatic-Stress awareness month

...and I'm even later than last year in posting something about it.  Why?  Well, in part, because I still think last year's post already says what I have to say about it.  I'm not sure I have much to add, other than I'm in a much better head space than I was even a year ago, and it does get better.

But also because self-care is (finally) becoming an important part of my life and... I just didn't feel like writing anything.  So I didn't.  Because I'm the boss of me.  😀

Then I had a coffee date this morning…Read more

Part Deux: Conversations with Men about Rape Culture

Oh dear, I left you folks hanging for a few days longer than intended, sorry!

If your memory is like this forty-something's, you might want to refresh yourself on the initial conversation with the brave and curious "A" here, in which he asks some important questions and I blather on for a bit, then we have juice and cookies and each of us feels better understood and enlightened.

When suddenly, "A" pops out the following idea:

"I had another thought this evening, would like to know what you think...

"I wonder to
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Conversations with men about rape culture

If you happen to live in Canada, and happen to be tuned into media and/or social media, you will certainly see that a whole lot of conversation around rape culture has opened up, in the wake of the numerous allegations around he-who-shall-not-be-named.  I continue to receive a whole bunch of feedback from my previous blog entry about silencing victims, and it's been quite satisfying and encouraging.  CONVERSATION IS AMAZING.

It is heartening that the conversation is finally taking place.

However, in talking…Read more
Sexual assault reporting

Angry that assault victims aren't taking it to the police? STOP SILENCING THEM!

It has been... A Week.  A week of painful triggers for many, including myself, although one that seems to have burst open the all-important discussion we needed to have on sexual assault and balance of power and the silencing of victims.

For those of you who have been living under a rock, or blissfully un-tuned to Canadian media sources, a very prominent and popular radio host was accused of assault earlier this week by four women, and several more have now joined them, and from what we're hearing, there…Read more

June is PTSD awareness month, hold the "D"

"June is PTSD awareness month, a time to remind ourselves that PTSD is real.  It is a recognized medical condition and millions are affected.  Ten percent of women and five percent of men will have PTSD at some point in their lives."

Aaaannnnd this is June.  Pretty much closing in on the end of June...

I've been meaning to write about PTSD awareness month since I received the above reminder on June 1 from a PTSD and C-PTSD support group I'm in, and…  haven't made a peep.  I suppose I could blame moving, or my…Read more

Gratitude -- yes, really

There's nothing like an annual holiday to bookmark life events, or life quagmires.

Thanksgiving last year, I was in a state of wide-eyed anticipation, eager to get started and continue on a number of projects dear to my heart, looking forward to family visits and other usually-joyful occasions.

The year in between, however, has been characterized by betrayal, abandonment, and loss.  Each of my closest primary relationships -- other than the girlfriends, god bless the girlfriends! -- in fact, has dealt me a…Read more

The on-time week in Awesome!

Alrighty, I will briefly begin with what is making me dance the happy dance:

We had the second Steering Committee meeting of the Katie Project!  Yes, it's gone back to being called the Katie Project, rather than foundation -- yes, the website will reflect that soon.  We got our official mission statement together, created an official mission statement, and are on our way to strategic planning in meeting #3.  I love my committee, and I'm so very excited to finally be making this dream come true!!!

My hubby has…Read more

Awesomeness Revisited (We are beautiful, beautiful creatures...)

Not only is the Awesome Report on time this week, but Lisa's hubby Paul got the One Billion Rising photos and video to me just in time to be included in -- nay, the focal point of -- this week's report.  I am  re-energized by watching the community rally, and so proud to have been a part of this event, pathetic dancing skills aside...   (For those of you catching up on this dancing journey, I first mentioned OBR here: Last Week in Awesome, reported on my progress here: Dance Like Nobody is Watching, and…

Dance like nobody is watching

Well, I'm pretty sure nobody's watching, or the neighbours might have called the paramedics by now...

I have spent the day rehearsing the dance steps for Thursday's "One Billion Rising" flashmob at Barrie's Five Points (between 5:00 & 5:30 -- please join us if you can!).  This is what the dance is supposed to look like:
  Break the Chain
I'm afraid that when my husband caught me rehearsing last week, he thought I was having a seizure or something, and ran up the stairs to rescue me.  I am hoping someone warns…Read more