Alyssa has much to say -- some of it is even interesting!


Journeys in Lyssy-land

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Valentine's Day 5.0

As I know I've said in these entries several times, there's nothing like an annual holiday to help you mark the days and see the changes that each year brings.  This year and this Valentine's Day is no different.

"Facebook Memories" saw fit to remind me this morning of what I think was probably my favourite Valentine's Day, ever.  Just look how freaking happy I am!

And isn't it interesting how my favourite Valentine's Day memory doesn't involve a romantic partner, but was with one of my "besties", Lisa…

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Happy (?!?) Suicide Prevention Day... or something

September 10, National Suicide Prevention Day.  So little-miss-truth-and-beauty should probably write something inspiring, eh?

And yet, I feel like a total faker writing on this topic, since I was wrestling with my bullshit brain over this particular issue as recently as last week.  (Now, don't go panicking on me, I wasn't in any imminent danger, I can keep using cutlery.  It's just that there are still some bits that sometimes need some wrangling, or distracting with shiny things occasionally.)  

But... I do know a bit (!) about suicide prevention.

Back when I was a kid, and I didn't really have any understanding of just how fragmented my brain and soul were (a pretty genius survival technique – thank you, neurochemistry – which got me through some desperate times, but wasn't terribly useful in later years), I already understood there was an internal battle.  I knew there was a bit of myself – or perhaps even a few bits of myself – that flirted with the idea of "accidentally falling" off the subway platform just as the train was coming.  Nothing that could be seen as intentional, of course, because that would open up a whole whack of unpalatable scenarios, depending on whether I succeeded or failed in my "accident", but... you know... elbowed off by a distracted commuter, caught by a big whoosh of air... anything that could keep me from being hospitalized and never taken seriously again if I survived, or turned into "the bad guy" if I succeeded.  Fortunately, there were a lot of other bits who thought this wasn't such a good idea, and so I would plaster myself to the back wall until the train had safely passed.  That way, even if one of us got the urge to dash, the rest of us could probably catch her before she reached the edge.  To this day, when I go back to Tronna, I still tend to hold myself at the back of the platform, because the memories of those days are so intense, especially in the stations that haven't been re-tiled since the '80s (which I think are most of them... amIright?)

So... forget being a faker.  I am a MASSIVE SUCCESS STORY when it comes to suicide prevention.  I'm here to tell the tale.

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Kunghei fatchoy

Alrighty, I'm not Chinese (at least, not that I know of...), but my Shambhala group celebrates the lunar new year, and we're not even going to be doing that until Saturday, so I don't think I'm THAT late with my annual birthday / New Year's wrap-up... right?  Heck, I missed last year's entirely, so... baby steps.

The previous birthday recap... ah, sigh...  Suffice it to say that I wasn't in the best head-space for looking around or ahead, thank you depression, and thank you Frau Gatekeeper for digging the…Read more

Squeaking it in: Still June, still Post-Traumatic-Stress awareness month

...and I'm even later than last year in posting something about it.  Why?  Well, in part, because I still think last year's post already says what I have to say about it.  I'm not sure I have much to add, other than I'm in a much better head space than I was even a year ago, and it does get better.

But also because self-care is (finally) becoming an important part of my life and... I just didn't feel like writing anything.  So I didn't.  Because I'm the boss of me.  😀

Then I had a coffee date this morning…Read more

Part Deux: Conversations with Men about Rape Culture

Oh dear, I left you folks hanging for a few days longer than intended, sorry!

If your memory is like this forty-something's, you might want to refresh yourself on the initial conversation with the brave and curious "A" here, in which he asks some important questions and I blather on for a bit, then we have juice and cookies and each of us feels better understood and enlightened.

When suddenly, "A" pops out the following idea:

"I had another thought this evening, would like to know what you think...

"I wonder to
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